I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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