So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize