Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
