Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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