id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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