Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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