Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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