You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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