I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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