p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize