Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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