alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
