i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
