her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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