I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She said her name was "party"
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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