it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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