found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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