i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
