she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
