You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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