How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
