Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
