My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
