Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize