So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
