There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Say something about gay babies.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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