if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
