I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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