Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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