Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize