handjob tips. give me some.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
