Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
