Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize