The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize