i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
