take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Randomize
