Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well I just put wine in my tea
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
