beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize