It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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