is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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