Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize