I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
