Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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