Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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