I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
