Having a random hookup so left but love u
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
