2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
do nipples grow back?
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