In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Buhtt sex?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
