I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
