I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
