I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
3pm strippers are depressing
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
