i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
