Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
