i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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