I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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