brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
