I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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