Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
