my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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