i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
