y did u give ur computer a hand job?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
