So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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