Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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