C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
