God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
