This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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