I need to stop coming to work sober
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
