I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
