I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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