I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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