He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
