ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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